My Story of Glory: Part 1; I Grew Up As A Carefree...

My 2-year old birthday party.

I grew up as a carefree, unaware, and simple-minded girl.  I don't remember ever pondering the meaning of life, or questioning my existence. I'd heard about God, but knew very little about Him.  The little knowledge I had came from attending church with my family.  We were an Italian-immigrant family.  So naturally we attended a local Catholic church.

I remember the crucifix hanging in the sanctuary not really knowing what I was looking at.  I can’t tell you how many times I spent staring at the story picture paintings on the walls, and wondered what those stories were about.  In Catechism, I memorized the Ten Commandments and the Lord's Prayer, gained an acknowledgement of God, and learned that Jesus Christ was God’s Son.  That was all I knew back then.  I never knew or understood that there was more to HIStory (His story).  After Catechism, attending church was a decision I could make for myself, and most of the time I chose not to go.

As the years went by, I began to experience a feeling, a longing formed deep, deep down inside that was overwhelming to me.  I wasn't quite sure where the feeling came from.  Whatever it was brought me to tears throughout my youth. Somehow, it felt like I was missing something.

It's not that I didn't feel love or acceptance at home. Our family was dysfunctional, no doubt. As mentioned above, we were an Italian-Immigrant family adjusting to life among a culture different from our own.  Sometimes I stuck out like a sore thumb simply because I wore homemade dresses my mom made for me, and shoes shipped over from Italy.  We were different alright, but I felt loved by my family.   I think that's what made it so confusing to me.  I couldn’t understand why I felt the way I did.  I moved on ignoring it as much as I could, but it always resurfaced bringing me to tears each time.   

After my sophomore year of high school, my family decided it was time to move to a big city. I was born and raised in a small town. Not much happened in that town for me, so moving to a big city was exciting!   Plus, I never really liked sticking out like a sore thumb; being the introvert that I am.  Standing out only drew unwanted attention that was undesirable to say the least.  The thought of blending in was very appealing to me and I felt it would solve my problems.

To Be Continued in the next post.